Thursday, July 12, 2007

Paris, we need to talk!

Perhaps you're feeling guilty for the mass murder you committed in 2003. But, it's not going to happen again. There are public service announcements partout reminding Parisians to make arrangments for the elderly before heading off on vacation. You may not cause heat related deaths this summer, but I’m certain there will be a spike in accidents grave de voyageur if this gray and gloom continues. It actually hailed on Monday afternoon!

People are confused. They don't know what to wear. While a wool sweater may make sense in the morning, it's completely inappropriate by the late afternoon. The metro reeks of enchiladas. It is the most bizarre smelling body odor that I’ve ever encountered. One moment, you’re experiencing hunger pangs, and the next you’re thoroughly disgusted at the smell and at yourself for having craved a combo platter.

I'm begging you to stop this yo-yo. If you want it to be cold, fine. But just pick one.

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